opening entry

it has been quite a while, i noticed something has changed about myself. i'm not me anymore. i have lost in this battle, where we suppose to endure it successfully. i wish i have the strengths to stand, and i wish i have the energy to climb up the wall which separates me with the real 'me'. i wish i have a time machine; get back to the past and change everything possible to avoid mistakes from being done; to keep what i am supposed to have; and make everything satisfies everyone.