farewell May 2009

yeah, since today is the last day for this month, let me summarize all the events or tragedies(if available) which had happened within this month. nothing big had happened except my mom's birthday. 

let see, my studies went quite well, and for this sem finals i think i gave the best shot! still, need to improve something on certain subjects, for example accounting and economics. luckily i think, i performed confidently for the finals, though there are some mistakes have been done again and again, but well, humans are not perfect. i've got no problem with other subject, just have to put more effort since i'm damned lazy.

okay, about the progressing progress, about me deciding to move into another unit, can't be made into real. so much i have done (went to the office on floor 1 for more than 4 times, filled up a request letter, stayed in casa wasting 4 days of my precious holidays, went to scholarship unit in college, wasting my time and tears as well), but at the end of the day , i still need to do some stupid things like seeking counselors (am i that problematic???). but well, after being brain-washed by jpa representatives, i decided not to move. this was what they have said, "don't get yourself bothered about this tiny matters, even if you really think this is a big 1. just stay and do your part as a scholar, pay attention on your study, since you're going to struggle for booking a place in Australia. don't care about people (in your unit specifically) since your main purpose of being here is to perform in your study". see? i did not edit anything that came out from their mouth okay, this is the real true say from them. so, i just need to live my life!

what else huh? oh ya, about my 'perjalanan untuk mendapatkan lesen memandu', tomorrow is gonna end this journey (i wish:D). during classes, i can drive, yeah i'm sure of it. but when it comes to a test, adui, so nervous la! hopefully, the tester is not gonna be really strict, and can cover me during the test if necessary (hehehe).

so, that's all for this post. let's welcome June 2009!:D

farewell casa!

yeah, today i'm leaving casa! but still not going home since i have to drop by at my aunt's house in bangi, because she's the 1 who's gonna send me back...huhu.

summarizing all events happened during last semester, overall they were quite challenging. and i'm now tired of thinking about college-related stuff, casa-related problem, so i wish i can rest during this break. i wanna relieve myself from those tension.

about the progressing process, i don't think i can make it. the name have been shortlisted, and my-dream unit is already full now! no more empty bed. sigh, but still i'm gonna try to negotiate with some of the people moving into that unit. but sadly, there's only 1 person who i can negotiate with, and i don't think he wants to change unit with me. no matter what, i have to put some effort. i'm tired of living in this single room and being 'single' all the time.

therefore, wish me luck!:D

i'm in pain...

i still can remember the time when she teaches me accounting. i still can remember she's the 1 who makes me to love accounting at that moment. the way she teaches, even though with just chatting, still benefited me a lot for this subject. after a moment, i start to have feelings towards her.

but now the time has passed. she no longer teaches me accounting, neither chats together. and right now, something has really made me shocked! she has already been together with someone. i did confess to her about my feelings, but she rejected. i accept that, and i won't stop loving her. still, after knowing that she has someone right now, it's painful! i don't what else to say, and to do. all that i can do is seeing her happy, and being hurt inside. it's okay, if it would make her smile...

exam week (day 4)

for the first time after accounting test, i can smile. all this while, accounting tests made me like to vomit, and sick! but this time, fortunately i can answer the questions confidently. still, after leaving the MPH, i realized that i did some mistakes which should not be done. however, i'm quite satisfied since i have answered all the questions, and at least i tried all of them. hopefully pn anizah won't cry while marking my paper...:D

exam week (day 3)

yeah, today was legal studies test. i was quite confident when i flipped through the question bookletfor the first time. but once i progressed until the 3rd question if i'm not mistaken, i started to remain doing nothing, since i don't know how to answer the question. seriously, i didn't expect questions about terrorism would come out, but then sometimes you're unlucky. it did come out! i was expecting for aboriginal people's question, since it did come out for past years consecutively. it really shocked me deadly! so, i just left those blanks without anything to write, even if i try, for sure it's gonna be false! still, i managed to do the essays well. but i think i will lose few marks since i did mention about legal principles in my introdution, but i didn't give any of them as my points! i hope ms wendy won't be too rigid marking the papers, and i'm sorry for leaving those blanks...:D

seriously, i have published this post when i realized that i have maths also today! so, i don't have much to say about it, since i can fortunately do it well. though some parts was left blanks, but still i'm quite confident about other answers. hopefully it's the true answer...:D

exam week (day 2)

sigh, how come they can expect us to write 4 essays within 2 hours with quite number of subjective and objective questions? today, it's time for economics to challenge our credibility. i wish i have extra time to complete giving enough points, instead of concluding without required number of points. still, i hope i can score for this subject, since i don't have any chances on ESL even to get 'B'. hopefully, tomorrow's tests are gonna be easy-to-answer tests...:D

exam week (day 1)

what the hell was i doing??? i screwed up my ESL test. yeah, for the first 20 minutes, i have not started writing anything, and my scribbling paper was totally blank! i don't know where should i look for points for the first essay, and unfortunately i ended up by giving only 3 points (4 points are required though). the first writing was a mess, and affected the second one. letter writing, i used the wrong address. not enough with that, my conclusion was unlike a desired conclusion! i kept repeating the same sentence for 2-3 times, and i can see 'i hope' was frequently repeated. sigh. for sure she's (dr. santha) gonna kill me since she had already given me final advisory opinion on Monday. adei, what to do?

let's just try the best for next upcoming tests!!!...:D

a somewhat blissful weekend!

yeah, it was a somewhat blissful weekend. not because i had experienced some memorable moments, but it was just about being kind of ultimate-hardworking people. i spent 2 days in study room at floor 1 (the best record so far...:D), and i can't imagine how was i forcing myself to study.

when it comes to study, i'm the world-number-1 (i guess) who refuse to do so, even harder when it is during weekend, where we are supposed to get enough rest (sleep in other words...:D), and release some tension from over-assigned homework and full schedule over the weekdays.

but, i have promised myself to score for this semester finals since i performed badly in past internal assessments. so, by hook or by crook, i have to make sure that every subject would be scored better and get a good reputation and achievement for overall performance in SAM.

that's all for now.

oh by the way, regarding the progressing process, i'm going to the office to ask about the approval tomorrow. hopefully, the result won't distract my focus on exams...

emergency!

i don't know what's wrong with me recently. i feel like my head is gonna explode, my stomach is gonna burst, and shockingly next week is my finals and i still have lots to read! last night was terrible, i can't even sleep tight as my stomach was helluva ached! so, today i don't have enough energy to study, even though i force myself to do so.

1 question which is popping out in my mind, is this gonna continue till next week and affect my performance in the exams? i hope not...

progressing process! part 2

yeah, as i have mentioned in previous post, i'm working to make it into real. right now, i'm waiting for approval since i have made the request. the result will be known by next week. hopefully it would be a success. my future ----, wait for me!!!...:D

progressing process!

since i have decided to do 'this', i am now working to make it into real. no matter what happens before doing 'this', i am now confirmed about what am i doing. i know what's the best for me, and what's the best for you guys. so, don't get bothered about 'this', you guys have already implied, and now it's time for me to take action. not because i'm hating, it's just about finding solution and im sure this is the one and only.

for some reasons, i have to do 'this'. don't argue anything, don't get stressed, and don't be annoyed. it's not about you guys only, but this is also about me. nothing to be bent out of shape, just do what you guys prefer without any disturbance. enjoy and have fun without someone like me.fullstop.

wishes for you, the one and only...

i'm sorry for i post this 5 days later after your 59th birthday, Mama. but still i manage to do something on the day itself, wishing you a merry happy birthday! besides, i wanna wish you a happy mother's day! may God bless you, dan semoga panjang umur...:)

do not reject null hypothesis

all this while, i was always hoping for something which is not going to happen. honestly, i'm sick of being cheated-like as if i don't have feelings. promises are made, but none of them are made into real. i have been experiencing the first event which hurts me a lot, and i don't want this second-time-to-be hurts me once again. therefore, i have decided to stop hoping, and just continue enduring my life with what i am having now without regrets.

opening entry

it has been quite a while, i noticed something has changed about myself. i'm not me anymore. i have lost in this battle, where we suppose to endure it successfully. i wish i have the strengths to stand, and i wish i have the energy to climb up the wall which separates me with the real 'me'. i wish i have a time machine; get back to the past and change everything possible to avoid mistakes from being done; to keep what i am supposed to have; and make everything satisfies everyone.