panorama

"those who don't respect should not be respected"(dr Adnan 2009).

thoughts...

"they say, no women no cry. but i say, no women make me cry, but my friends always make me cry..."

friends = those who can't accept the real 'me'...

fading dilemma

okay, about me ------ into another ----, it is decided that i'm going to do it. right now my feelings is neutral, means no hatred which makes me to leave, it's just that i want to change the atmosphere. maybe current atmosphere is not really suitable for me although i have lots of enjoyment with them before, and i have also enjoyed the atmosphere of my future ----, and fortunately it's convenient regardless of the cleanliness, but that ---- is quite clean though. so, with that, i decided to keep my decision, and let's see what will happen by next semester...

repeated mistakes...

okay, normally people would say that we should not repeat the same mistakes we made before. in my case, as if i was blind during the examination, and guess what? i was careless while answering short response test for legal studies. i was confidently answer the questions without checking back since i felt that that's the answer. but, it doesn't. i didn't realize how can i become confused between stages in federation and constitutional amendment.

unfortunately, it worth 4 marks, which according to what i was supposed to get, i would be getting 17 marks, which is an A. but some of my friends say that, this is a challenge from Him to test my patience and encourage me to continuously work and put efforts to achieve success. yeah, i guess he is right. therefore, i recover myself from being disappointed and down as i was on last thursday. i wish i can de better in future, and there's nothing we can do in gaining success other than struggling till the very end...

consideration

right now, i have a choice, to stay or leave. many possibilities which encourage me to leave, but many memories make me drowned into dilemma. i have asked some of my friend about this, and they say that it's possible to ---- ---- another ----. okay, since it's still early, and 'they'(another they) are going to leave casa, i should consider myself by second semester. i hope during this time, i'll be figuring out about this decision. i'm sorry but i have to. maybe there are good things likely to be occuring after i have done this. even you guys won't feel any regrets letting me go. therefore, it's better for me to LEAVE...

approaching infinity

okay, this post is about myself being emo once again. this time, i can't control it anymore since i have been letting myself hurt inside. as you can see on the title, it's reaching infinity, the limit of my anger, and sadness as well. up to you guys to define myself as what, but the most important is i don't hurt anybody else. satisfied?

blessing in disguise

yeah, i'm grateful that weekend is gonna be over! yet, as i have mentioned before, i would like to study for my tests in this coming week. guess what? i didn't study at all! even the homework assigned for the weekend haven't been completed. yeah, i did do something with those mind-stressing homework, but it seems like having true holiday without any work to do please me a lot.

but seriously, i'll have them completed by tomorr0w, it's not that hard actually; copying from friends' homework; and copying from the text book; it does sound easy. (hehehe)

perspective

i'm sorry if this post is a bit emotion-related. yeah, humans have feelings, it's just about the way they express them, whether in a good way. but this time, my emotion has been distracted by some ambiguous attitude, behavior, and thoughts of other people. i am totally messed up with this situation where i will tend to be sad, and depressed.

even though you might notice that i still can smile, but like i said before, it's different in the way humans express their feelings. for me, rather being a burden to friends, i suppose to give good impression that i'm ok, even though i'm hurt inside. you guys maybe say that i'm pretending and it hurts more, but if you want to know, i can't let my friends keep asking and demanding for the answers.

it hurts more if i tell you guys 1 by 1. let's put it this way, there's something that you don't know about me, and i believe these problems occur due to this matter. i need someone who is mentally and physically prepared to help me out, released and unleashed from sinking and drowning in the darkness. is there anyone willing to? (i guess no)

unsatisfaction

okay, i have no mood after accounting class, and it gets painful and disappointing when legal class has finished. today, 2 events have happened making me feel so down as if i have reached the end of my life. yeah, it's quite implying the truth, since i failed my accounting test, and performed badly for my legal ct presentation. having a day with double tears-dropping events is really hurt, but that's how life goes on and on. i'm not saying that i'm satisfied with that, but it's a reality that we have to accept, no time machine for us to get back in past. it's just that my heart still can't accept it for getting a matter done badly after struggling for better achievement, it's quite irritating. how can i survive tomorrow and consequent days???

final destination

i really had a great time, thank you guys...

but now, let me remain myself at my place...

whatever

okay, i'm jealous. so what???